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Fantastic Fest 2007 Micro Reviews

I know you can go over to Aint It Cool and read Harry and Massawyrm’s more involved reviews, but I thought I’d summarize my thoughts on what I saw for those who may be interested.

Diary of the Dead – I didn’t actually see this movie as I don’t usually like zombie movies. George Romero was hanging out with the fans afterward and he seemed like a cool guy. Diary was not part of his “of the Dead” series of movies. It presupposes a world where no zombie movies exist, so when a group of college kids stumbles across a zombie outbreak, they must learn about it the hard way.

Wicked Flowers – Japanese indie film about a group of people trapped in a series of rooms. They have to watch a short play in each room and piece together the answer to a question before a time-released toxin kills them. It’s David Lynch meets “Cube.”

Time Crimes – One of my favorite films of the festival. The world premiere of Nacho Vigalondo’s first film. A clever, tightly constructed, no special effects time travel story in the vein of Primer, but more accessible. Nacho is a really great guy and he hung out for the entire festival. He told me he was very worried that no one would like his movie, but it was a festival favorite.

Aachi and Ssipak – Completely insane Korean anime about a future world where the only fuel left is human feces. Wildly original and hyperviolent.

The Entrance – Awful B movie about a cop who investigates a bunch of criminals drawn into a deadly game by a fallen angel. They actually do the scene where the rookie cop makes the late night call to the detective on the case: “I know this is going to sound crazy, but I’ve been doing some digging on the Internet and there might be something to this demon thing after all!”

Spiral – Genius thriller/black comedy. It’s The Office, but Tim might secretly be a serial killer.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time – Satisfying anime tale of a high school girl who discovers she can leap back and forth in time. Not as wondrous as a Miyazaki, but still well done and touching.

Southland Tales – Reviewed elsewhere. It’s growing on me.

Sex and Death 101 – Daniel Waters (Heathers) film about a man who discovers a list of every woman he’s ever had sex with as well as every woman he *will* have sex with until he dies. Very funny black comedy with a slight sci-fi element. Renewed my crush on Winona Ryder. The director and most of the cast were there, drunk out of their minds. Winona thought it was next week and didn’t show up.

Sword Bearer – Long-winded Russian film about a man who can spontaneously eject a sword blade from his palm, a la Wolverine. I was never clear on what the film was trying to be.

Moebius Redux – I was only peripherally aware of Jean Giraud’s art before this movie, but now I’m a fan. He’s the artistic genius behind the visual design of Tron, Alien, The Fifth Element and one of the founders of Heavy Metal magazine. Fantastic documentary which I highly recommend. It has been playing on Canadian and British TV recently.

Retribution – Boring J-Horror crime drama which tries to be so unlike The Grudge, The Ring, etc. that ends up being really ordinary.

The Cold Hour – One of the best sci-fi movies I’ve seen in a while. I won’t say anything about it at all. You need to walk in to this with no information. You will be richly rewarded. This is a must see.

The Orphanage – Guillermo del Toro presented the two first time writer and director of the film. It was a very atmospheric Spanish ghost story which I enjoyed. There was an especially grisly scene in the film which the writer later explained as his message to the American writer’s workshop that suggested they sanitize the film for American audiences. The message was “Fuck off.”

Death Note – I loved the anime and I was pleasantly surprised at the live action adaptation. It definitely shuffled the story around to make it work for the movie. The characters all remained intact, though: Light was an arrogant, evil bastard and L was a semi-autistic genius who ate nothing but sweets. They were showing Death Note 1 & 2 back to back, but I was too sleepy to stay for the second movie.

There Will Be Blood – I didn’t make it into this one, but apparently this was a big movie for some people. I was waiting in line and PT Anderson walked by. Two guys next to me started flipping out. I was relieved that I wasn’t missing Darabont’s the Mist. I even tried to make Anderson into Darabont with a scruffy beard.

And that was my Fantastic Fest experience. I went ahead and bought a VIP ticket for next year (already sold out) so I wouldn’t have to put up with this waiting in line for three hours and not getting in nonsense again.

GeeksOn

Today is my one year anniversary of being on the GeeksOn forums, the one and only forum I participate in.

Yay!

Heroes 2.0

Yawn.

I’m done.

Southland Tales

Don’t worry, I will warn you before the potential spoilers.

I waited in line for three hours for Ain’t It Cool News’ first secret screening at Fantastic Fest. I had no idea what I would be seeing. I just squeaked in to the showing, and by some twist of fate found myself sitting in the VIP seats with Richard Kelly and his entourage, about to watch his follow up to Donnie Darko.

This is in no way a review. It is a reaction, my attempt to deal with what I saw. I had only heard the name of the film and had no idea what it was supposed to be about. At first, I thought it was meant to be taken seriously. It was a serious movie being done very badly. But then I considered that it was a farce. So it became a farce done very badly.

Southland Tales stars The Rock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Seann William Scott, Justin Timberlake and a Saturday Night Live reunion party. Everyone has been cast against type, something the director did on purpose.

For the most part, I sat there with my jaw literally open because I could not believe what I was seeing and hearing. I’m not talking about a David Lynch flavor of bizarre. I’m talking about a Plan 9 From Outer Space-esque “Did he really just say that?” vibe.

I spent the entire movie thinking that I had just taken a bullet for all of you, for everyone I knew who had not seen it. I was pretty sure I was watching something really bad. But that’s the thing: It’s like it did something to my brain to make me think that maybe it was good. I thought I could give a definite recommendation about it, but I can’t.

If these things intrigue you:

SPOILER ALERT

1. Sarah Michelle Gellar as a porn star
2. A near future Neo-Con nightmare of America
3. An SUV growing an animated dick and fucking the vaginal muffler orifice of another SUV
4. Kevin Smith disguised as a scientist
5. The short dude from the Princess Bride as a transsexual wizard mastermind
6. A rift in the Time-Space continuum which threatens to destroy the 4th dimension
7. John Lovitz as a bloodthirsty racist cop
8. Justin Timberlake as the narrator who quotes from Revelation and then injects himself with an alternate fuel source so he can perform a Killers music video
9. Seann William Scott as the messiah
10. Moby

…then you will have much to love about Southland Tales.

END SPOILERS

When Richard Kelly got up and spoke about the themes and the symbolism in the film, it retroactively made the movie cool. The movie is part IV, V, and VI of the Southland Tales. Parts I, II, and III are each graphic novels, which we all received as we left the theater.

But most people will not get the benefit of the director’s commentary until the DVD and they won’t know to read the graphic novels first. And I’m not sure if what he was talking about was actually up there on the screen.

So I’m still not sure what to tell you. It may be an awful movie or it may be a work of genius.

Cosmic Encounter

And now in news that isn’t actually a cruel practical joke on Mischa…

Fantasy Flight Games has obtained the rights to Cosmic Encounter and will be releasing a new version next summer. I cannot be more excited. There is no better company to handle the game. I will go ahead and say that it will be the best version ever. It will have gorgeous art and components, as well as lots of expansions.

Hooray for nostalgia!

San Marco

EDIT: To be clear, this post is entirely fictional. Dan told me how Mischa coveted this game, so I thought it would be amusing to write this post. As it turns out, Mischa had already obtained a copy, so the joke was on me. And, for the record, San Marco is a fantastic game and I wish I owned a copy too.

Last weekend, on my way to the grocery store, I stopped at a yard sale. I really love yard sales, but I haven’t gone to one since I was back in Albuquerque. I have this recurring fantasy of finding a rare Boba Fett action figure.

It looked like the lady who was running the sale had a husband who was a board game collector and he was getting rid of a couple of things. It looks like everything had been pretty picked over before I got there. I saw this game Celtica, which I already had. But there were a few interesting-looking games which I ended up buying: San Marco (mostly because of the cool looking lion statue on the cover) and Ticket to Ride (which I had played before but never bought my own copy). Both games looked like they were in good shape and had all their pieces (though the San Marco box was a little scuffed).

I got a chance to play San Marco tonight at Great Hall. As I was setting it up, the board reminded me of this other game I had played with gondolas going around the board. The board looked like someone had gone a little bit crazy with a map of Venice and Photoshop. It came with the same little cubes you find in every game plus this figure with a little hat. Oh, and there were bridges.

Essentially it is an area control game in the vein of El Grande. I found myself constantly reminded of El Grande, which, having played both, I think is the superior game. San Marco is way more cutthroat and it felt like you couldn’t plan a long term strategy because inevitably someone would screw you over pretty badly. It had an interesting mechanic where one player divides the action cards up and then another player chooses which set of cards they will use.

Anyhow, it was kind of amusing, but it felt too much like El Grande merged with some other game that I can’t remember. When I was packing it up, one of the guys ( I don’t think I had ever actually spoken to him before) came up and offered to trade or buy it. It had only cost me $5, but he offered me $10. Score!

I also got to play this game that let you make cool little sculptures from putty. It took a while before someone guessed that one of mine was a star destroyer.

Meetup

One of the first things I did when I got to Austin was to sign up for interesting groups at Meetup.com. I get to meet people with similar interests and check out cool new places in Austin.

Right now I’m part of Discovering Austin, a couple wine/coffee/singles Meetup groups, a sushi group, two Landmark groups, and two movie groups. One of the movie groups is the Alamo Drafthouse Fans, which I am an assistant organizer for. That means I get to pick movies, schedule events and get people to come to the Alamo to have a good time!

A Kutschfahrt is not as uncouth as it sounds

Majcher showed up tonight at Great Hall with gaming goodness fresh from Germany. My very own copy of Die Kutschfahrt zur Teufelsburg (Coach Ride to Devil’s Castle, bom bum buuuuuumm!) had arrived! After a vicious game of Jungle Speed in which Nukes was actually wounded (Marc took a photo of the blood) and several people (including myself) almost took a totem to the face from Marc’s Strength 18 lunges, I peeled off the wrapper and we played us some Coach Ride.

This is the game of Coach Ride. In the game of Coach Ride, the players represent various hotties and consummate badasses in some European country (perhaps old Romania) where Van Helsing is not just a line of clothing, it’s a lifestyle choice. Each belongs to one of two secret societies with their own agendas. They find themselves sharing the same coach, drawn by midnight black steeds pulling the party inexorably closer to the crooked shadow of Devil’s Castle. How to pass the time? Ah, yes, let us have a battle of wits to determine where everyone’s allegiance lies.

The crux of the game is trying to find out who is on your team and who is your enemy. There can be no table talk on this matter: overtly hinting that you are on a particular side is verboten. Instead, a player makes an “attack” on another player. The remaining players decide to side with the attacker or the defender or to sit it out, watching what unfolds. The winner is allowed to look at the loser’s affiliation, gaining one of the most important bits of information in the game. Did the player just attack a friend? From this point on, the winner’s actions should be informed by this new knowledge. The best way to let someone know you are their side is to support their actions. If they attack, you assist in the attack. If they defend, you defend. It is really frustrating when people don’t observe this basic tactic.

Now, it would be too simple if all you had to do was determine everyone’s allegiance. No. Each side is also trying to secure either three goblets or three keys. Without these artifacts, they may not declare victory and they will become the laughing stock of the Romanian Secret Society Review. So in addition to attacks, players may propose trades, in secret, with another player. Everyone starts with two items, some of them goblets, some keys, and the rest weapons or other useful items. Carefully observing two players’ attitudes during a trade can reveal as much as winning an attack. Also, familiarity with all the possible items can inform you as to what is going on and you can begin to theorize why Player A may have proposed such a trade with Player B.

Last night, we played with six people, only one of which had never taken the ride. Overall, the game ran like a well-oiled coach. Allegiances were determined within 2 or 3 rounds and then the gloves came off. Marc’s ruthless eleventh-hour offer of the black pearl (an item which prevents a player from declaring victory for his team) to me actually won us the game. It prevented me from overconfidently declaring victory prematurely. I was convinced that between Nick, Monkeyman Dan and myself, we had three goblets. I knew Dan had two goblets and he had given one to me. Did he give the other to Nick in a trade? Surely one of us had a third goblet! But I was wrong. I had a bag which turned into a goblet when all the item cards were gone, but there was one left in the stack! New Guy on my left attacked me, using his special power to prevent anyone else from joining in. I cleverly forced the conflict into a draw, making him take that last item. My bag was now a goblet! Sensing the planets had aligned, Nick instantly declared victory for our side!

And that’s Coach Ride.

The No-longer Obsessive Movie Update

I’ve fallen out of my obsessively cataloging the movies I’ve seen phase (for the time being). But here’s the updated list:

1. Return of the King
2. Illuminata
3. Stay
4. Hot Fuzz
5. Children of Men
6. The Empire Strikes Back
7. Stardust
8. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
9. American Astronaut
10. Paprika

For the record:

11. Shortbus
12. Sunshine
13. Pirates of the Caribbean 3
14. Transformers
15. Die Hard with a Vengeance

Remember the Alamo

I have now visited every Alamo Drafthouse here in Austin. There were four when I arrived, but now there are only three, and in a few months there will be four again. Sadly, the original Alamo closed at the end of June. I was able to attend a few of the farewell events such as Quentin Tarantino’s Last Night at the Alamo Grindhouse as well as Half-Ass-A-Thon. Before living in Austin, I had attended Butt Numb-a-Thon twice, so I was already convinced of the Drafthouse’s awesomeness. I am sad to see the original go. But it will be reborn a few blocks away as the Alamo at the Ritz. This old movie house is being restored and updated into a state of the art theater.

For those of you who have not enjoyed the Alamo Drafthouse experience, let me describe it for you. First off, it is best to arrive at least an hour before your film begins. This is not so you can wait in line or get a good seat (though those can be factors). No, it is so that you can order your food and drink while you enjoy the pre-show. The pre-show consists of a thoughtfully edited presentation of clips relating somehow to what you are about to see. For instance, before the latest Die Hard film they showed a behind the scenes feature about the previous Die Hard movies, clips from Moonlighting and the famous Seagram’s Golden Wine Cooler commercials starring Bruce Willis (or “Bruno” as he preferred to be called).

In front of each row of seats is a sort of platform where you can place your food and tasty beverages. The food at the Alamo is prepared by actual chefs and is delicious. You cannot order a nasty greasy hamburger there, but you can definitely order a gourmet Royale with Cheese and a $5 milk shake to wash it down. There are often themed feasts to go along with movie premieres. You can also order buckets of beer. And the movie has yet to begin.

Before the trailers, you are likely to see advertisements for upcoming special events at the Alamo. They have monthly sing-a-longs, Saturday morning events for kids, a Mystery Science Theater 3000-style series, special guests, and more. They make their own “Turn off your cell phone and shut up during the movie” segments. My favorite is the cleverly-edited Star Wars clip with the Imperial officer taking a call at the meeting with Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin. “Don’t talk on your cell phone or we’ll throw your ass out.”

At this point, it almost doesn’t matter what movie you’re going to see. You’re surrounded by people who love film and you can order food and beer until halfway through the movie. The Alamo Drafthouse is the greatest movie theater in the country.

The official site: http://www.originalalamo.com/